1. Why is it important to have time to myself?

How we experience time has a big impact on our sense of wellbeing.  Studies (e.g. Griffin, 2021) show that informal carers often sacrifice their own time to care for their loved ones, and that this can have a big impact on their wellbeing.   Urwin et al, (2023)’s study on time use by informal carers and non-carers found that a number of factors fed into carers having lower daily wellbeing than non-carers:

• Less leisure time,
• Greater time pressures (or ‘time stress’ – feeling pressure and rush to get things done in the time available),
• A greater sense of time fragmentation (where the day is broken up by caring activities).

Griffin (2021) suggests that there’s a limit to what our nervous system can process at one time.   The caring load eats into time that is ours, yet having time alone is vital to replenish (2021, 26).

2. How can I find time for myself?

As carers we are often exhausted, pulled in different directions, and it can feel impossible to find time for ourselves.  However, without some time to ourselves it’s difficult to get a sense of perspective or protect ourselves from burnout.

So how do we begin to make some time for ourselves?

Firstly, we can think flexibly.  Our time might not look the same each week, but here and there, we may be able to snatch 20-30 minutes or more – and that is enough for something.  If we can find more time, great, but we don’t need masses of time to ourselves to make a difference to our sense of wellbeing.

Secondly – what would matter most to me, to do in that time?  If we are only able to find snatches of time, we want to make it count.  What would make the biggest difference to us, to make time for in our day?  Is it having a nap?  Is it doing something creative?  There may be a number of things we identify here.  From this we might need to consider what is feasible in the time we have.  It might be that we can’t be outside in nature because we need to stay close to our loved ones, but can I bring nature indoors?  Can I use this free time plan to get out in nature at another time?

Thirdly, once you’ve decided what you might want to do with that time, how can you make it happen?  It might be that you need to do some tasks to prepare for your activity.  You might need to have a conversation with people to manage their expectations.  It might even be that you need to give yourself permission to take that time for yourself.

Finally – remind yourself of why taking this time for you is important.  With time for yourself you can reconnect with what matters to you.  You can focus in and not have to be pulled in multiple directions at once.  You can even slow down, which will give you capacity to go on to be busy later if you have to.

If this post has resonated with you and you want to find some time for yourself, please reach out to us at info@careforyoucoaching.co.uk.