More parent-blaming headlines this week: this time Richard Tice (Deputy Leader of Reform), who has asserted that the SEND system is “being hijacked by far too many parents who are abusing the system, taking it for a ride”.  Implication: parents are the problem, and the solution is to “cut out waste and abuse”.

A quick look at contextual facts and figures can debunk Tice’s spurious assertion:

There’s lots of evidence that parents struggle to get support in the first place (let alone take advantage of it):

• Between 2017 and 2023 (on average) 23% of initial EHCP requests were denied
• by 2023 32.7% of EHCP requests were denied and in 2025 this figure had climbed to 34.6% (https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/education-health-and-care-plans/2025)
• So currently, over a third of parents are denied the initiation of a support process at the first hurdle. No so much of a hi-jack as a high refusal threshold…
• Where needs assessments are pursued, there are still 6.4% of cases where EHCPs are not issued.
• Often parents challenge the decision for local authorities to not offer support. The Disabled Children’s Partnership and Pro Bono Economics reported that by December 2023, the cost of SEND tribunals had risen to over £87million.  Around 28% of tribunals were appeals against decisions to not pursue needs assessments/EHCPS, and overall 98% of SEND tribunals found in favour of the families (https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/blog/new-statistics-on-education-health-and-care-plans-ehcp-for-children-with-special-educational-needs/).  This need to challenge local authority decisions by parents doesn’t fit with Tice’s assertion that the SEND system is being ‘taken for a ride’….
• Looking at these figures then, it would seem that the system is the problem. Indeed, the Children’s Commissioner reported in 2024 that “children want support to help them do well, but they often experience a system which is more interested in asking ‘what is wrong with you?’ than ‘how can we help?’”.  Once parents have EHCPs there can be further challenges establishing appropriate support in educational settings. If Tice were to look at online forums for SEND parents, he would find they are full of parents discussing how EHCPs have been interpreted and what it means in practice, as well as seeking advice and support to advocate for their children.

Navigating the parent blame:

Parent blame is a useful political rhetoric as it locates the problem within a family and absolves politicians from responsibility to intervene.  I’ve written about parent blame before because SEND parents are constantly judged and misunderstood.  If like me you are affected by these headlines; because maybe they feel personal, they discredit the battles you’ve undertaken, they echo people’s disbelief or questioning; then I think it is worth reminding yourself of how educated and skilled you are.  SEND parents I work with have often done a lot of research to understand and support their children’s needs and are experts on their children.  Reminding yourself of this won’t make the blame go away.  Indeed, Newbold Hope’s 2022 report (https://www.newboldhope.com/parent-blame-report) and the Autism and Parental Blame Project (https://www.wm-adass.org.uk/media/4mdc5wtk/autism-and-parental-blame-focus-group-report-final-may25-r3.pdf) both identified that parents of autistic children are often misunderstood and blamed (particularly mothers) where parents’ strategies to support their children’s needs were judged to be poor parenting.  However, reminding yourself of what you know, your experience in doing what you do, can help reinforce a sense of your own reality, and your skill in understanding what is needed.  (A quick aside here: you may feel that it is worthwhile documenting meetings too as these can be prime spaces of misunderstanding).

The other key thing is having people around you who understand your situation and bolster you: these people help support you to keep a sense of perspective when things are tough and judgmental. Examples of support groups could be: one of the National Autistic Society’s 80 local branches, or their online community; drop in sessions or workshops from Autism Central; regional CICs such as Autism and ADHD Parent Support UK CIC (aaps-uk.org) or local groups in your area.

Finally, some useful frameworks for supporting you to advocate for your children’s rights are: