Carer stress and how coaching can help

What is stress?

One way to understand stress is as ‘overload’.  When things are too much, our capacity to cope becomes diminished.  It’s also important to recognise that what might be a stressor for one person may not register as stressful for another.  How we evaluate stress makes a difference to what we experience as stressful.  For example, you might find a noisy crowded environment incredibly stressful and come home with a headache, another person might find it quite exciting.

If stress is about perception, it’s also about how we react to that perception.  In a stressful situation the body releases adrenaline as an immediate stress reaction, and cortisol is released after a prolonged period of stress (Grief and Palmer, 2022).  Prolonged stress has a profound impact on our psychological and physical wellbeing.

Mackey and Perrewé (2014) developed the AAA model to describe what happens during stress reactions (Appraisal, Attribution, Adaptation):

In this model the primary appraisal stage determines how individuals will react to stress, and the emotions that come with this appraisal impact on how well-placed a person feels to cope or emotionally self-regulate.

What Is carer stress?

Many stress models are based on work conditions and job demands.  However, carers experience stress differently.  For instance, Grief and Palmer talk about work stress being managed by detaching oneself from that stress (a bit like walking out of the office at the end of the day) – this is not possible for carers.  Hastings’ study (2003) found that stress affected parents differently: mothers were more likely than fathers to be impacted by stress due to their child’s behaviour.

Mothers of autistic children are more likely to experience stress if a child is emotionally distressed or struggles with emotional regulation (Brown, 2021; Higgins, Mannion, Chen, Leader, 2023) (this is often framed as children’s behavioural problems within studies).  Parental stress also impacts on the child too (Brown, 2021).  This means that stress can become embedded in the family a feedback loop.

How can coaching help with stress?

As a helping space designed to focus on you, coaching can support you to manage stress in a number of ways:

  • Helping a couple cope together: at Care for You Coaching, we work with individuals and couples in a safe supportive environment

  • Finding different perspectives: we’ve looked at how perception can play a big role in how stressful something might be, coaching can provide a non-judgmental space to explore what contributes to stress (e.g. other people’s judgments!) and how that could be reframed

  • Support for doing problem-focused coping, and helping you get things done: coaching can help you identify exactly what problems are and what actions you might take to help mitigate or manage them

  • Making a plan e.g. to find time out/support: coaching can support you to plan and prioritise the steps you want to take, and think through how you’ll make practical changes

  • The experience of having support: having social support is a big factor in parents feeling that they can manage stress (Higgins, Mannion, Chen, Leader, 2023), coaching is one space in which you can experience being understood and helped

  • Scaffolding your emotional resources to cope: as a process coaching can help you to build up your own coping resources